In order for me to request that all of the attendees from our council be placed in the same hotel during this year’s convention, I need to turn in our room deposits in one group. Keep in mind that at this point, your deposit will assure your unit has a room.

We need either a check in the amount of $175.00 per room or a credit card number to hold the room. The check should be made payable to Convention Planning Inc. If a credit card will be used, I need the name of the card (Visa, American Express, Master Card or Discover), the name as it reads on the card, the number and the expiration date. As your delegate names may change, it would be better to get a unit check in the amount of $175.00.

I would like to collect the checks at our council meeting on November 15 (please come at 7:00 PM if you are bringing your deposit). I will continue to collect the checks until December 1, 2001. After I receive the proper convention housing forms on December 5, we will have a night at the district office for filling out the forms. If you miss the December 1 deadline, you will be on your own as far as a room and will take the chance of not being placed with the rest of the group from our council. Please keep in mind that this is just a deposit and if cancelled before 72 hours prior to the date of arrival, you will be charged a $16.00 fee. Cancellations made less than 72 hours prior to your arrival date will be assessed a one night room fee plus tax. Take full advantage of this great opportunity for leadership training right in our own backyard. (And there will be Hollywood people involved with the convention). Convention days are long and grueling sometimes. Invest in a room or two for your delegates. After all, there is no airfare involved this time. Find delegates that are willing to make an investment in your PTA. The entire cost of convention is a legal and highly encouraged expense. There will be members that argue this is not benefiting the children, but only those that attend. They could not be more wrong! It is an investment in the future leadership of your PTA – an organization that benefits all children.

One of the most recognized phrases heard during this time of the year is the stanza from Henry W. Longfellow’s "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day":

"I heard the bells on Christmas day their old familiar carols play, and wild and sweet the words repeat of peace on earth, good will to men."

Many don’t know that the third stanza reads:

"And in despair I bowed my head; ‘There is no peace on earth,’ I said, ‘For hate is strong, and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men.’"

Keep in mind—you cannot have one (peace on earth) without the other (good will to men). Although this poem refers to a biblical quote, it applies to the human race in general. So, for those who prefer to not look at it as a religious reference, look at it’s sociological meaning.

After what the world witnessed on 9/11, we can better understand Longfellow’s meaning. Let’s take a moment to not look at "the big picture", on a global scale, but right in our own neighborhood and schools. How can we, as parents, teachers, and education administrators, assist our children in working towards this goal of ‘peace’?

Immediately a witty answer comes to mind when I envision the poster, "Everything I Ever Needed To Know I Learned in Kindergarten," specifically, "Be Kind to Others". Why then is that small instruction so easily forgotten within a few years?

I am referring to bullying. Professionals call this "peer abuse". I bet you are picturing the "TV Bully" of the 60s or 70s… the big, not–too–bright kid, from the ‘bad home’ who picks on the weaker children. It amazes me that someone made a TON of cash by creating comedy from something that really not at all funny.

In reality, most bullies have average intelligence and above–average self–esteem. They are not looking for attention; they are looking for control. Moreover, they rarely stop because their victim is ignoring their behavior. Unless addressed by an adult, the level of bullying will only increase. Physical differences play only a very small role in bullying situations. Most victims are chosen because they are sensitive, anxious, and unable to retaliate. Most bullying occurs on school grounds: in classrooms, in hallways, and on playgrounds, yet bullying behavior usually takes place out of sight of teachers. Most victims are reluctant to report the bullying for fear of embarrassment or retaliation, and most bullies deny or justify their behavior.1

Bullying among children is commonly defined as intentional, repeated hurtful acts, words or other behavior, such as name-calling; threatening and/or shunning committed by one or more children against another. These negative acts are not intentionally provoked by the victims, and for such acts to be defined as bullying, an imbalance in real or perceived power must exist between the bully and the victim.

Bullying may be physical, verbal, emotional or sexual in nature. But, it is the latter three that are most often carried out "behind the scenes". These include name–calling, teasing, purposeful rejection and/or humiliation, racial or ethnic comments/slurs, etc.

The press doesn’t let us forget the extreme reaction from long–term bullying. Students shooting other students and teachers, suicide, etc. makes us face reality each time we open a newspaper or turn on our television.

I didn’t write this because I needed filler for this newsletter. It’s a personal issue with me. But frankly, what sent me to my computer to write this was watching my best friend suffering because her children were suddenly the victims of peer abuse and I was awash in empathy. One is only seven, has a barely noticable physical disability... and was referred to as "a freak" by an older child.

Please be alert to this issue. Work with your neighbors, teachers, school administrators, and most of all, your children. Communication is the key to solving conflict. Read all you can on this issue and visit some of these websites for further information. I wager that anyone who reads this at some time in their lives was bullied. Remember how it made you feel? Use that empathy to prevent it when YOU see it happening.

A few key points:

• Tell your children that it is okay to express disapproval of bullying behavior by not joining in the laughter, teasing or spreading of rumors or gossip;
• Be sure that your school is able to closely supervise children on the playgrounds and in classrooms, hallways, restrooms, cafeterias and other areas where bullying occurs in your school

As PTA leaders, we need to take a stand against this issue. We need to educate our parents and students, and be sure that school administrators research and educate teachers and school staff. Remember that we are for ALL children. There should be Zero Tolerance towards bullying behavior. If everyone works objectively towards the same goal, it will have a huge impact.

Maybe when our children are adults, we will have taught them skills that can move mankind closer to the ultimate goal of "Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men."

¹http://www.education-world.com/a_issues/issues102.shtml

Other references:

• http://www.cde.ca.gov/spbranch/ssp/bullymanual.htm - "Bullying: Peer Abuse in Schools"
• http://www.cary-memorial.lib.me.us/bullyweb/powerpoint/sld001.htm - "Prevent Bullying" (Slide Show)
• http://www.education.unisa.edu.au/bullying/ - "Bullying in Schools and What to do About it" – Dr. Ken Rigby
• http://www.ncpc.org/10adu3.htm - "Bullies: A Serious Problem for Kids"
• http://www.safechild.org/bullies.htm - "Safe Child – Bullies"

Books:

• Suellen Fried, Paula Fried – "Bullies & Victims : Helping Your Child Survive the Schoolyard Battlefield"
• John H. Hoover, Ronald Oliver – "Bullying Prevention Handbook : A Guide for Principals, Teachers, and Counselors"
• Dan Olweus – "Bullying at School : What We Know and What We Can Do (Understanding Children’s Worlds)"

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